Ballad of the Sun-shroom

I am of the night. At least that's what I'm bred to be. I sleep during the day and awake during the dark, that's true. But one look at me and you'll realize I do not belong in the darkness. You see, I shine very brightly just as the sun would. 


Of all creatures in this gloom-drenched world, it is I alone that radiate a golden yellow light from my skin. And I hate myself for that; the way I hate daylight and everything associated with it.


They say if you concentrate enough, you can purge all of that light from one's body and soul. So I do that. I conventrate very hard. Hard enough that small spheres of sun emanate from my body. I concentrate hard enough until I realize that I became stronger and bigger because of it. But the dastardly glow remained. I learned that once I grow, I could purge bigger spheres of suns. But despite my efforts the radiance remained. 


I belong in the dark, with the gloom-shrooms and the fume-shrooms and the grave-eaters and the magnet-shrooms. But here I am, with no ability to attack our enemies and defend our lands. With my sole ability being to generate spheres of suns which my comrades do not even need. I feel inutile. I just waste space here. And I hate myself for that.



(Huh?!?!?)
(Here: http://plantsvszombies.wikia.com/wiki/Sun-shroom)

Hopes and Dreams and the Parallel Universe

"I only need eight hundred grams of Cesium to maintain the field! I have given you proof and evidence that it works! Why do you deny me of such small amount?!" 

The man in a dirty white lab coat stands up to approach the bench. The sergeant-at-arms on the corner raises his arms and gives a  sign to the man to stay on his seat. The man looks at the sergeant-at-arms and sits down slowly.

"Dr. Bishop, it's not whether  your experiment will work or not. We trust in your skills and intellect and we know that it would work",  the Supreme Judge answers. Ten judges sit behind the bench as the Science Tribunal. They are the ones who regulate, monitor and decide on ethical and moral scientific dilemmas and related cases. Today, they are hearing the fifth appeal of Dr. John Bishop requesting for 800 grams of pure Cesium for his experiment. 800 grams is above the legal amount which is 200 grams for private experiments.

"Dr. Bishop, what we are doubting is your motivation for this experiment. For the benefit of the new Jury before us right now can you please explain your experiment again?"

"It's very simple really. I've created a Torsional Proton Accelerator that can reach energies approaching the Schwartzchild magnitudes. This device, once fully operational can create a gravitational force field that could create a miniature black hole with a picometer radius. That's not the breakthrough though, any undergraduate physicist can do that on his basement. What I've done is I coupled the black hole's radiated dark energy with a Picolaser Pulse synchronised via a superconducting crystal lattice of inert Uranium-230 to produce a dark gravity field with a radius of 2 meters. The problem is, once the inert uranium-230 is exposed to the pulse laser, it instantaneously decays into Plutonium-210 which immediately dissipates the dark gravity field.

But if I have 800 grams of Cesium, I can use it as a catalyst so that the laser pulse interacts with it instead. The Cesium's excitation energy will be the one to trigger the Uranium's radiation of the dark gravity energy without it decaying into Plutonium. It's pretty straightforward and simple. It's non-hazardous and very stable. I can't think of anything that could go wrong", Dr. Bishop explained.

"Please tell us the impact of this experiment" said the Supreme Judge.

"The dark energy field generated serves as a thread that links asynchronous quantum states. A bridge between two different quantum spaces." said Dr. Bishop.

"And what does that do?"

"In layman's term it connects two different configurations of a single particle."

"What is the significance of that?"

"It is a portal between two parallel universes. But it's a one-way portal, we can cross but the other side can't. So there is no risk."

The Supreme Judge pauses for quite a while to read a document in his desk giving way to a complete silence in the room. The Judge then flips a page and looks at Dr. Bishop.

"I see no risk in this. My question is why would you want a bridge to the other world?"

Dr. Bishop bows his head. He takes a deep breath and stands up to speak.

"Imagine the possibilities of a different but similar world. A world with different but similar people. A different environment, different circumstances. It is a world where you made completely different decisions. If one can go to that world, he can have an entirely different life but very familiar. One can start over again. Don't you want to have that possibility?"

"I know that it is a very good thing to have to start over again. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe everyone have a regret or two in their lives. Let me ask you, Doctor, would you cross the other side to start a new life?"

Dr. Bishop stares at the Judge as if calculating if this is a trick question or what. After a few minutes of silence, he answers.

"Yes. I would."

A silence once again covers the court room.

"Why can't you just move to Boston or Australia? Why can't you start a new life here?"

"Because it would be different if I move to Boston. Different people, different places, just different."

"Then if you want the same set of people why do you want to cross-over? Why can't you just create a new life here with the same people that you know? Start over again with them. Why not here?"

"Because they're dead here!" Dr. Bishop exclaimed to the judge while teardrop rolls down his eyes to his cheeks. He then sits down and bows his head.

"I'd like to call a fifteen-minute recess. After that, we will read our decision," the judge declares as he slams his gable.

The Judges stand up and move as a line to the exit behind the bench. Every one in the room began to leave one by one. Only Dr. Bishop remained in his seat.

After the fifteen-minute recess, all the judges began to return. All the other people also went back to their seats.

"The court is back in session", the Judge said while slamming the gable. "Plaintiff, please read the decision."

Dr. Bishop remains in his seat with his head bowed down and his arms wrapped around himself. The Plaintiff walks to the center and speaks.

"Yes, Your Honor. For the appeal of Dr. John Bishop for the request of 800 grams of pure Cesium, the Tribunal has rejected. The Tribunal however approves 300 grams of Cesium to be granted to Dr. John Bishop for his experiments. This decision is final."

"With that this session is adjourned." The Judge slams his gable. Dr. Bishop remained motionless in his seat. Everyone begans to walk out again. But the Supreme Judge remains on his seat. After a while only the two of them remained in the courtroom.

Dr. Bishop speaks without raising his head to look.

"You are also a physicist. You know that I can't stabilize the field with just 300 grams. What's the point of giving me that amount?"

"With 300 grams, you can sustain a 6-inches radius non-reactive window to the other quantum space. I want you to look at them. Look at what they are doing, how they are living their lives. I want you to ask yourself, are you willing to alter those lives in a very major way just to make your grief go away? You are being selfish, doctor. Those are people with their own lives. You can't just go there and change everything and make them live your life. You have to make do with your own life here. Move on."

A long silence lingered in the room.

Finally, Dr. Bishop stands up and walk toward the exit door without saying anything. He grabs the door latch and pulls the door open. As he walks out the door, he looks back to the Judge and smiles;

"250 grams can do."

Dr. Bishop walks out and closes the courtroom door. The Judge smiles.

Anecdote: Ice Cold

A man is dying of heart failure. He has a heart disease with no cure. His wife decided to have him cryogenically frozen, to be thawed only when the cure for the disease is available. The wife, with her love and devotion, also asked to be cryogenically frozen herself, to be thawed when his husband is cured.

The cure was developed 500 years later. The man and his wife was thawed. They went to see each other. But as they met, they have become very far apart. There was no more warmth and affection, no more love and devotion. So they consulted the doctors about it.

The doctors have no solid explanation but they have a theory. They think the couple have been frozen for too long. Their hearts have grown cold.

Adventure 4 Rent

I was sick and tired as I sat on the bus on my way home, after 9 hours of monotonous cubicle work. I saw the sign on an electric post on one of the bus stops.

Adventure 4 Rent
Call Toto (xxx) xxx-xxxx
or visit our garage 
Address: ###xxx Xxxx, Xxxx....

I know exactly what the sign is advertising. An Adventure van, a six-seater multi-purpose vehicle manufactured by Mitsubishi motors and a staple vehicle in the Philippines. Perfect for a small group of people. Van owners rent them for excursions or field trips usually for 8 hours of use, excluding the gasoline.

But I half-expected something more. I need an adventure. I'll have one even if it's just rented. Even if just for 8 hours. Even if gasoline is excluded.

Before it even started running again, I stopped the bus and I got off. I took note of the address. Luckily, it is just a few minutes walk from the signpost. So I started walking.

As I walk, I thought of what I would say to the owner. I know he rents a van but how can I explain what I want. Should I say I'm bored with my life? Should I say I need to have an adventure? I know he will just think of me as weird or even whacked out person. He's renting an effing van, for chrissake!

Well, anyhow, I arrived at the gate of the house. It was a big mansion with beautifully decorated gatlings and pillars. I pressed the doorbell and waited. An old man with white hair and long white beard and moustache opened the gate.

"May I help you?", he said.

"I'm looking for Mang Toto. I'd like to rent an Adventure." I said.

"Oh, I see. I'm Mang Toto. Please come in." He said as he waves his hand to tell me to come inside house. My heart was beating faster for some reason. I seem to be hoping for something that will definitely fail me.

He stopped a few meters away from the open garage. From where we stood I can see a silver Adventure parked inside. I can almost discern about ten or more other cars inside the wide garage.

"There is the van. Would you like to see it up close?" He asked.

"I think I'm good here. I changed my mind. I'll just contact you if I need it. I'll just go now." That's what I said to him. I wanted to tell him what I am really looking for but I don't want to look crazy.

"Okay. Thank you for coming." He said.

With that, I turned my back and walk slowly to the gate with my head down. But as I was stepping out of the gate I heard Mang Toto call me from behind.

"Hey!"

I looked back and saw him smiling.

"I think I know what you are looking for." he said.

I was astonished. Does he really know?

"If you need an adventure. I'll give you one. And it will be the best adventure you'll ever have in your life as long as you do the best you can in return."

I was appalled and couldn't think of anything. He knows!

"How did you know?" I asked.

"You see, I used to be menial worker. But I have big dreams. You know how I got all these things, a big house a rental business, everything? While on my way home, I saw a sign that says 'Fortuner 4 rent'. Call me crazy but I went to the address to rent a fortune even just for a while. I used that rented fortune to the best I can. And so here I am now."

"So I'll rent you an adventure. But just for 8 hours. And gasoline is not included." he said with a wink.

The Inevitability of Singularity

During the olden times they started to call me god, deity, allfather. But the fact is I'm just a collective cloud of gas and dust that gained sentience over time -- a few millons of aeons of nonexistent existence.

In the beginning , I was just floating aimlessly, or that's what I think I did before I gained knowledge. For I know nothing about my self before knowledge, I just deduce these from my composition, my trace paths, my accumulated particles. One thing I'm sure is I was made of energy, a strong spark of energy dissipating slowly into the form of the gas and dust of my current form.

But there in the beginning, in the instance I was born, I was not alone. I found myself floating among the dust. Am I the dust? Or am I apart from the dust, like an external consciousness perhaps? The answers I do not know.

What I do know is what I percieve. I perceieve a foreign group of gases and dust along with the native group I have. I percieve mixed shards of rocks and ice floating as well. I percieve a material darkness adjoined with me. I'm in the company of things I'm unfamiliar of.

I floated for aeons. I have no aim. I attained scraps of wisdom on my way, about the celestial objects, about stars and suns, about space, about the universe. I began introspecting not many aeons laters. I learned the truth about the gases and dust, about the things that form the gases and dust, about the things that form these things, and about the things that form everything.

I become purer as I go along. Gone are the rocks and ice and the foreign groups of gases and dust. Soon, even the native dust and gases were gone. I know not what I was made of anymore. I learned that I could occupy a sun and become the sun--I know of its heat, its radiance, its explosions, everything about it. I learned that I could occupy anything I want to to and become that thing and know everything about that thing.

After a few more aeons, I occupied almost everything in the known universe and I have learned everything I could. After learning everything, I began to think. I thought of the connections of these knowledge I have. I connect every dots and I began to learn new things. For aeons I just thought and thought and gained more and more knowledge on the way.

A million aeons later, I stopped thinking. I've thought everything there is to be thought. But suddenly something different emerged out of my consciousness. I began to want about thinking and learning new things. Yet there is nothing left to learned. I wasn't able to explain it then but I know now that it was that time I started to yearn. It was my first experience of emotion. I yearned for knowledge each passing time. I yearned and yearned until I became sad.

With my vast knowledge, I then realize that If can't learn new things I should create new things where I can learn from. I found a good place to start on a gigantic floating rock formations in a milky white galaxy. I formed a sun and put nine huge planetary rocks to orbit it. I started my work on the third rock from the sun.

I provided it with an atmosphere. I covered it with water. I let a few landforms protrude from the water. I saw these things happening and I learned a little each step of the way. And I was happy.

But these formations are so predictable. I felt longing and sadness not many a time passed. I need something more dynamic, more stochastic.

Below the surging ocean waters, I occupied the thing that forms other things. And I became that thing. Upon learning it I vacated. But I left a very minute part of my consciousness in it. The consciousness I left became active and it developed into something autonomous, not predicted by physical laws. I have formed life.

Life began to move. The consciousness I have imparted began to impart consciousness to its nearby elements. Life evolved.I was watching and learning every step of the way. From the time It became motile. To the time it began to breathe. To the time it began to swim, to the time it began to crawl on the earth, to the time it began to fly. I saw everything and I was happy.

Not soon after, I becme sad again. My creations became very predictable. When they are hungry they eat food. When they age they preocreate. When they are threathened they fight. When they are old they die. Everything began to feel contrived.

So I occupied one of my species, those that walk upright on the lands. I became that species. I left it later but imparted a bigger part of consciousness than the first time. I gave it some of my knowledge. And I gave it free reign to use that knowledge. I made it rule over other creations. I called it Man. I watch as Man take care of my wild creations and domesticate them into beasts of burden. I watch as Man forms the landscape into something habitable. I watch as Man collabarates with other Man for better ways to do things. I watched all these and I was happy.

I speak to Man once in a while, as a booming voice from the heavens or as a raging fire on a lone tree. He speaks to me before he sleeps and during those rituals of idolation. All the while Man does things I never expected and I never predicted. I learned so much from those things. I finally felt like living for long in this phase of my existence. together with my creations and my peers.

But my consciousness can only exist for so long apart from me. Life soon decayed and my prodigal consciousness abandons their host and returns to me as newfound knowledge. Man soon becomes extinct along with my other creations. So I do it again. I create life on some unknown planet until life decays the second time. And I do it again and again.

I move along solar systems, galaxies and clusters; creating solitary worlds and conjuring life in them. I learn many things from each iteration. But soon enough I began to learn of the pattern. Each world begins their civilization, ruins their civilization, governs the people, makes mistake and destroys their civilization in the end. Each civilization does this in a clockwork pattern--sometimes shorter sometimes longer but always on that same pattern.

On the last iteration, I understood the pattern and everything becomes a ticking clock, predictable, slow, uninteresting. So I abandoned it yet again.

I've known the secrets of the macroscopic and microsopic universe, the secrets of life and the secrets of society. I've felt all kinds of emotions from love to anger to melancholy to joy. I realized it's everything I need to know, nothing more. So I stayed on my corner of space-- a consciousness floating in the darkness.

But on that last station of the universe, I realize there's one thing more I need to learn--one that I've always overlooked.

So I occupied the dark space. It was a strange feeling, trying to put yourself into nothingness. I feel compelled to curl into myself into a very small point of that darkness. I collected all my knowledge and compressed them into that point. And I sucked any matterforms into that point.

Stars converged into that point. Galaxies were pulled. Clusters were attracted. Everything was pulled closer into that point of consciousness. I had a strange feeling like my consciousness was being pulled from within.

The darkness has enveloped my entire consciousness. The entire universe is with me. I have knowledge of everything in the universe . Alone, in this darkness, with no time passing, I am the God of All Things. I am the Ultimate Knowledge, the Prime Consciousness. Without matter or space, I am Pure Mind.

Ultimate but alone. But I understand that this is supposed to happen. Everyone and everything ends up alone in the end. Everything decays and fades away until only the ultimate remains.

If I'm to create matter, it will require a massive release of my Energy. I shall create matter and create a new universe, where I can learn more of what is possible. Is it knowledge or company I seek? I know the answer but i'm afraid to say it. For I am the Ultimate Being, capable of anythig without anyone’s help.

My calculations say that all of my consciousnes may be converted if I’m to create a whole new universe. Which means I would cease to exist. Alone in this dark singularity, that is my only option. So I thought: Let me begin with a little light.

Death of the Things We Love

The wailing sound of the nuclear bomb siren drowned the music of Snow Patrol playing in my iPod. I hit the volume up to its maximum. Nothing can part me and my music.

From my seat outside the coffeshop, I saw a white ball of light coming from the horizon getting bigger and brighter. I sip from my coffee cup and lean back.

I felt my mobile phone vibrate on the pocket of my faded jeans. It was my father calling about a hundred times now. I see he also sent a hundred text messages. I don't care.

It was getting hotter on my seat outside so I stand up and walk to the air-conditioned inside of the cafe. I look around for a cozy spot. A sofa on the corner seems to be waiting for me. I walk to the sofa and just slumbered on the soft seat still with my coffee in hand.

I recline lazily and leaned my head back. I can see the ceiling and all the chandeliers. Everything starts to shake. The chandeliers began to dance--each bumping glasswork creating a loud shattering sound.

The shattered glass falls slowly like snow above me. The quakes became stronger and stronger. Bright lights began pouring through the windows.

Snow Patrol on my iPod. Coffee on my hand. 

Reclining on a soft sofa under a magical shower of crystals.

This is the best way to die.

Window Loving

A new receptionist was hired for the hotel concierge. She was stationed on the front desk overlooking the entrance and the window to the streets.

In her first day of work she saw beyond the hotel windows a man walking on the street in front of the hotel. The man pauses as he is directly in front of the concierge. Then the man gives a faint smile. The new receptionist, not knowing what to do, immediately looked away.

The next morning she saw the same man again. Again, he pauses in front of the receptionist's position and smiles. The receptionist just looks away again. On the third day, the man came walks past again and smiled. This time the receptionist smiled back and she felt good.

She began to talk his coworkers regarding the man.

"That guy? Don't tell me you're falling for him. Everybody knows him as a selfish guy who only thinks of himself."

But the receptionist doesn't believe what they say. Through her brief glimpses of the man, she can say that he is a sweet person.

On the fourth day, the man walks again and smiles in front of the receptionist. She always smile back and it always makes her day better. Sometimes, the man would stop longer than usual and just stand there for a few seconds smiling. And she always smiled back. Everyday since, she was eagerly waiting for him to come inside the hotel and talk to her.

On one occasion, as the man passes by, he turns and winks to the receptionist. She would immediately blush with this action. On another occasion, he passes by pauses in front and pouts his lips as if sending a kiss to her. This made her decide. If he will not still approach her inside the hotel on the next day, she will go out herself to meet him.

The next day, the man walks by, pauses and just and smile towards her. Then he continues walking. So she rushes out of the concierge and runs outside of the hotel. She catches up with him walking and then she called him.

'Hi!' She shouted but he did not look. So she shouted louder.

'Excuse me! Hi!'. At this point, he pauses and looks back.

'Yes? Are you talking to me?' asked the man.

'Yes. I am.' She cannot hide her smile.

A long pause passed by.

'Do you need anything?' asked the man breaking the silence.

The receptionist's smile slowly goes away.

'Don't you know me? I'm the girl at the hotel reception.'

'Uh huh. Okay. Do you need anything?' he replied.

'Um. Nothing. I...I'm sorry. It's a mistake.'

'Okay. I need to go. I'm gonna be late.'

And the guy turns around and walks away.

The receptionist do not know what to think. He's always been looking at her and smiling at her. How did he not know her. She thought maybe he did not recognize her being up close. She also thought he might bee smiling at somebody else, not her.

So she walked back to the hotel to check if there is somebody he might be looking at.

As she arrives in front of the hotel, she pauses and looks inside through the windows.

And then she noticed.

The window glasses are one-way mirrors.