During the olden times they started to call me god, deity,
allfather. But the fact is I'm just a collective cloud of gas and dust that
gained sentience over time -- a few millons of aeons of nonexistent existence.
In the beginning , I was just floating aimlessly, or that's
what I think I did before I gained knowledge. For I know nothing about my self
before knowledge, I just deduce these from my composition, my trace paths, my
accumulated particles. One thing I'm sure is I was made of energy, a strong
spark of energy dissipating slowly into the form of the gas and dust of my
current form.
But there in the beginning, in the instance I was born, I
was not alone. I found myself floating among the dust. Am I the dust? Or am I
apart from the dust, like an external consciousness perhaps? The answers I do
not know.
What I do know is what I percieve. I perceieve a foreign
group of gases and dust along with the native group I have. I percieve mixed
shards of rocks and ice floating as well. I percieve a material darkness
adjoined with me. I'm in the company of things I'm unfamiliar of.
I floated for aeons. I have no aim. I attained scraps of
wisdom on my way, about the celestial objects, about stars and suns, about
space, about the universe. I began introspecting not many aeons laters. I
learned the truth about the gases and dust, about the things that form the
gases and dust, about the things that form these things, and about the things
that form everything.
I become purer as I go along. Gone are the rocks and ice and
the foreign groups of gases and dust. Soon, even the native dust and gases were
gone. I know not what I was made of anymore. I learned that I could occupy a
sun and become the sun--I know of its heat, its radiance, its explosions,
everything about it. I learned that I could occupy anything I want to to and
become that thing and know everything about that thing.
After a few more aeons, I occupied almost everything in the
known universe and I have learned everything I could. After learning
everything, I began to think. I thought of the connections of these knowledge I
have. I connect every dots and I began to learn new things. For aeons I just
thought and thought and gained more and more knowledge on the way.
A million aeons later, I stopped thinking. I've thought
everything there is to be thought. But suddenly something different emerged out
of my consciousness. I began to want about thinking and learning new things.
Yet there is nothing left to learned. I wasn't able to explain it then but I
know now that it was that time I started to yearn. It was my first experience
of emotion. I yearned for knowledge each passing time. I yearned and yearned
until I became sad.
With my vast knowledge, I then realize that If can't learn
new things I should create new things where I can learn from. I found a good
place to start on a gigantic floating rock formations in a milky white galaxy.
I formed a sun and put nine huge planetary rocks to orbit it. I started my work
on the third rock from the sun.
I provided it with an atmosphere. I covered it with water. I
let a few landforms protrude from the water. I saw these things happening and I
learned a little each step of the way. And I was happy.
But these formations are so predictable. I felt longing and
sadness not many a time passed. I need something more dynamic, more stochastic.
Below the surging ocean waters, I occupied the thing that
forms other things. And I became that thing. Upon learning it I vacated. But I
left a very minute part of my consciousness in it. The consciousness I left
became active and it developed into something autonomous, not predicted by
physical laws. I have formed life.
Life began to move. The consciousness I have imparted began
to impart consciousness to its nearby elements. Life evolved.I was watching and
learning every step of the way. From the time It became motile. To the time it
began to breathe. To the time it began to swim, to the time it began to crawl
on the earth, to the time it began to fly. I saw everything and I was happy.
Not soon after, I becme sad again. My creations became very
predictable. When they are hungry they eat food. When they age they preocreate.
When they are threathened they fight. When they are old they die. Everything
began to feel contrived.
So I occupied one of my species, those that walk upright on
the lands. I became that species. I left it later but imparted a bigger part of
consciousness than the first time. I gave it some of my knowledge. And I gave
it free reign to use that knowledge. I made it rule over other creations. I
called it Man.
I speak to Man once in a while, as a booming voice from the
heavens or as a raging fire on a lone tree. He speaks to me before he sleeps
and during those rituals of idolation. All the while Man does things I never
expected and I never predicted. I learned so much from those things. I finally
felt like living for long in this phase of my existence. together with my
creations and my peers.
But my consciousness can only exist for so long apart from
me. Life soon decayed and my prodigal consciousness abandons their host and
returns to me as newfound knowledge. Man soon becomes extinct along with my
other creations. So I do it again. I create life on some unknown planet until
life decays the second time. And I do it again and again.
I move along solar systems, galaxies and clusters; creating
solitary worlds and conjuring life in them. I learn many things from each
iteration. But soon enough I began to learn of the pattern. Each world begins
their civilization, ruins their civilization, governs the people, makes mistake
and destroys their civilization in the end. Each civilization does this in a
clockwork pattern--sometimes shorter sometimes longer but always on that same
pattern.
On the last iteration, I understood the pattern and
everything becomes a ticking clock, predictable, slow, uninteresting. So I
abandoned it yet again.
I've known the secrets of the macroscopic and microsopic
universe, the secrets of life and the secrets of society. I've felt all kinds
of emotions from love to anger to melancholy to joy. I realized it's everything
I need to know, nothing more. So I stayed on my corner of space-- a
consciousness floating in the darkness.
But on that last station of the universe, I realize there's
one thing more I need to learn--one that I've always overlooked.
So I occupied the dark space. It was a strange feeling,
trying to put yourself into nothingness. I feel compelled to curl into myself
into a very small point of that darkness. I collected all my knowledge and
compressed them into that point. And I sucked any matterforms into that point.
Stars converged into that point. Galaxies were pulled.
Clusters were attracted. Everything was pulled closer into that point of
consciousness. I had a strange feeling like my consciousness was being pulled
from within.
The darkness has enveloped my entire consciousness. The
entire universe is with me. I have knowledge of everything in the universe .
Alone, in this darkness, with no time passing, I am the God of All Things. I am
the Ultimate Knowledge, the Prime Consciousness. Without matter or space, I am
Pure Mind.
Ultimate but alone. But I understand that this is supposed
to happen. Everyone and everything ends up alone in the end. Everything decays
and fades away until only the ultimate remains.
If I'm to create matter, it will require a massive release
of my Energy. I shall create matter and create a new universe, where I can
learn more of what is possible. Is it knowledge or company I seek? I know the
answer but i'm afraid to say it. For I am the Ultimate Being, capable of
anythig without anyone’s help.
My calculations say that all of my consciousnes may be
converted if I’m to create a whole new universe. Which means I would cease to
exist. Alone in this dark singularity, that is my only option. So I thought:
Let me begin with a little light.
